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Welcome to the party Revolution. I’m Hans Gruber. After John McClane threw me off the Nakatomi Towers, I had a revelation. I like this country. I want to be an American. I want a better country. My fellow revolutionaries here, John McClane, Professor Moriarty, Ernst Stavro Bloefeld, and  Robespierre, we want to take America back from the Statists, the Authoritarians, and the Pan-National Progressives.

Back before I decided to pull world class heists in skyscrapers at Christmas-time, I had enough of the namby pamby Euro-trash bootlickers. I don’t want to see that happen here. Truly, if I’d known this was a country of Cowboys, I’d have been helping from the get go.  Falling from a skyscraper hurts.

As my friend John would say,”Welcome to the party, Pal!”

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